In Book 1 of The Phases, Ajna, you explored the AHA moments of the awakening phase. Now, in Unbecoming, you study the weight of generational cycles, performed versions of yourself, the space and permission to grieve those performed versions of self, and karmic patterns. This is the phase of excavation, which is the slow, careful process of transmuting everything that was layered on top of you. But in this instance this looks and feels different because this is emotional work: work you can’t see and that doesn’t feed the ego.
In Unbecoming, we look at neuroplasticity, which in non-scientific terms means you aren’t stuck. It’s the energetic thought patterns that keep you stuck. This is where Ajna says, “AHA, I’ve discovered the pattern!” Now it’s time to study that pattern and create new energy to cycle out of it.
One of the biggest pattern blockages we face is fear. On the opposite end of the spectrum are love, compassion, empathy, and logic. The ego says you control with fear. Logic and truth say you must meet fear with these higher-frequency emotions. That’s how you slowly dissolve a pattern or blockage: by choosing a higher-frequency emotion and put that new energy into motion.
Now for the generational part. We’re told, “You have your grandmother’s eyes and your dad’s sense of humor.” That may be true to a certain extent, but what we’re rarely told is that we also inherit generational nervous system responses. Those old, pesky emotional reactions may not even be yours. It’s a different way of looking at inheritance, or karmic debt. In Unbecoming, I also talk about epigenetics, the study of how experiences shape gene expression. This can look like a wound that never got the chance to heal because there was no time or thought for healing, only surviving.
The most important part of this phase is identifying whose weight you’re carrying. If you carry a scarcity mindset around money, for example, it may be your family’s survival mode passed down through generations.
I also speak about the performed versions of you. Pretty early in life, we figure out which version of ourselves earns attention and approval, and unfortunately that version is very disconnected from our authentic self. In the real world, we’re sometimes even rewarded for being inauthentic, and systems thrive on this. What truth reveals is that these performances are energetic adaptations your nervous system made in order to survive.
I want to end on a positive note, with something Saturn wants you to understand: this emotional work is not just yours. Every time you interrupt a pattern, question a belief that was handed down to you, or feel your way toward what’s true instead of performing what’s safe, you change something in your lineage. You’re doing this work for every version of yourself you may need to grieve, for the family members who didn’t have the safety, permission, or tools to do it, and most importantly, for the ones who deserved more and never got it.
This work is not self-indulgence or becoming obsessed with yourself. It’s karma. You’re clearing your past karmic self and actively co-creating a new karmic path, possibly one that leads to your dharma life, or even just a higher timeline. Somewhere sweet that feels like a dream. That’s the reward Saturn leaves for you, but you have to do the work.
Journal prompt: What version of yourself are you most exhausted from performing? Name the role. Be specific. Then ask yourself: are you prepared to lose relationships when you stop performing it? If you need somewhere to put what just came up, grab my free somatic grounding yoga practice here. A gentle flow to help you land back in your body.
Ready to go deeper? Unbecoming is Book 2 of The Phases of Disruption: Saturnian shadow work broken down into a clear framework, so you have the tools to get through the grit.